"Long story short I've punched a rough week emotionally and mentally since the walk last Sunday.
So a culmination of all my emotions associated with the abuse I suffered as a child, and how it was never resolved (the perpetrator's family denied it, and the police deemed it not enough evidence so my parents were on their own if they wanted to take it to court, which we never), how that has ultimately affected pretty much every aspect of my life because it caused my ocd and all the other issues I've faced. So add to that talking to my uncle the other night and him telling me how he thought I was having a tough time and how he is always thinking about me and praying for me, which made me cry, then going to church yesterday which made me cry especially when I had people hugging me after telling me they were glad to see me, and then I went to see my Nan yesterday and I cried the whole time there (which she probably didn't noticed because her eyes are bad) in a combination of how much it breaks my heart that she is lonely up in the home for the first time in her 92 year old life, and how much I love and appreciate her and can't imagine life without her around. Health-wise she didn't really seem any different, but I'm just more aware of exactly how frail she is compared to what she was even a year ago. Then last night I pretty much cried myself to sleep from all the feels. Yesterday I barely ate anything as I had no appetite, which is saying something, especially when cookie dough didn't even really appeal to me. haha
So a culmination of all my emotions associated with the abuse I suffered as a child, and how it was never resolved (the perpetrator's family denied it, and the police deemed it not enough evidence so my parents were on their own if they wanted to take it to court, which we never), how that has ultimately affected pretty much every aspect of my life because it caused my ocd and all the other issues I've faced. So add to that talking to my uncle the other night and him telling me how he thought I was having a tough time and how he is always thinking about me and praying for me, which made me cry, then going to church yesterday which made me cry especially when I had people hugging me after telling me they were glad to see me, and then I went to see my Nan yesterday and I cried the whole time there (which she probably didn't noticed because her eyes are bad) in a combination of how much it breaks my heart that she is lonely up in the home for the first time in her 92 year old life, and how much I love and appreciate her and can't imagine life without her around. Health-wise she didn't really seem any different, but I'm just more aware of exactly how frail she is compared to what she was even a year ago. Then last night I pretty much cried myself to sleep from all the feels. Yesterday I barely ate anything as I had no appetite, which is saying something, especially when cookie dough didn't even really appeal to me. haha
I appreciate you asking what is wrong. Nice to know that people actually care.
I know sometimes people don't know what to say, especially when people are dealing with some issues emotionally, and based on the subject matter of some of those issue, but I truly appreciate when people ask how I am and are willing to listen. It means a lot to know that your friends and those around you care. It truly makes the difference when you are feeling so alone in your own feelings and thoughts.
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