Note to self: don't go through the center of the med school when
convocation is on the go. I just had to pass through to bring a file to
purchasing and nearly had a panic attack. Too many people together in a
place that agitates my OCD. Especially when some lady comes out of the bathroom and touched my arm with her wet hands.
Can't wait to go home tomorrow.
Thursday 30 May 2013
Monday 27 May 2013
tired day
So so so so so tired today. Was awake this morning sometime after 4am with a sick stomach. Got back in bed around 4:45am or so. I had enough trouble getting to sleep in the first place, so this was very uncool. Working again tonight so I'm going to be quite tired again tomorrow morning.
My interview on Thursday went well. I feel pretty good about it, so I'm hoping to hear something this week. *crossing fingers*
My plan all weekend kinda kept getting shuffled up, and noting really went as I had planned, but I still managed to see some friends for a little bit. Saturday night I wasn't quite myself. Sunday I worked until 7pm. We were super busy for lunch to mid afternoon, but overall good shift. After that I just came home, got cleaned up, and relaxed.
I think I need to take a day off from my day job sometime soon. I'm exhausted today, and getting mentally exhausted with working so much. I just wanna go out the bay and see my parents, family, and nephew.
My interview on Thursday went well. I feel pretty good about it, so I'm hoping to hear something this week. *crossing fingers*
My plan all weekend kinda kept getting shuffled up, and noting really went as I had planned, but I still managed to see some friends for a little bit. Saturday night I wasn't quite myself. Sunday I worked until 7pm. We were super busy for lunch to mid afternoon, but overall good shift. After that I just came home, got cleaned up, and relaxed.
I think I need to take a day off from my day job sometime soon. I'm exhausted today, and getting mentally exhausted with working so much. I just wanna go out the bay and see my parents, family, and nephew.
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Weekend
This holiday weekend ended up being different than originally anticipated. My first aid course got cancelled, without me getting a notice, therefore I was up and thre 9am on Saturday morning after working later Friday night, only to wait around with a group of people for an hour before I left. But I did then get George Street bagels which were yummy, and although I lost out on sleep, I now had the whole day to relax/do whatever.
Sunday I got to sleep in as I no longer had first aid, then I worked from 3:45 until close. I had a customer that shift that fully reminded me exactly why I love working at my second job.
They had a complaint, I could hear something was wrong while serving another customer. When finished with my other customer, I asked how I could help her. I listened to her story, offered to correct it, and in return she complimented me so many times on my professionalism and kindness! She said I looked like someone who should be in business, and I told her I have my BBA, and work this job on the side. She thanked me again numerous times as she left and asked me for my name. She said she wanted to call in to let someone know how professional, courteous, and friendly I was. All of this made my day - in fact, my whole weekend!! I couldn't stop smiling the rest of my shift. =D This is why I love working in customer service. It can be frustrating at times,you may have to deal with some tough people/situations, and not everyone is always happy, but it is moments like THAT that make it worth it.
Monday I enjoyed a lazy day around the house. Slept in, finished my book 419, watched Brave, Game of Thrones from Sunday night, and started reading Game of Thrones. After a late supper, Michael and I played catch up on one of our shows. It was a nice, relaxing, lazy day. Unfortunately I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but that was probably due to sleeping in Sunday and Monday.
Found out I am not working this Friday night now, which means I have this weekend and next weekend with only Sunday shifts! Pet Expo next weekend, out home at some point over the next two weeks, and camping sometime over the next two weeks.
Hope our bicycles get brought in town tomorrow. Exercise! Nice weather! Outside!
Sunday I got to sleep in as I no longer had first aid, then I worked from 3:45 until close. I had a customer that shift that fully reminded me exactly why I love working at my second job.
They had a complaint, I could hear something was wrong while serving another customer. When finished with my other customer, I asked how I could help her. I listened to her story, offered to correct it, and in return she complimented me so many times on my professionalism and kindness! She said I looked like someone who should be in business, and I told her I have my BBA, and work this job on the side. She thanked me again numerous times as she left and asked me for my name. She said she wanted to call in to let someone know how professional, courteous, and friendly I was. All of this made my day - in fact, my whole weekend!! I couldn't stop smiling the rest of my shift. =D This is why I love working in customer service. It can be frustrating at times,you may have to deal with some tough people/situations, and not everyone is always happy, but it is moments like THAT that make it worth it.
Monday I enjoyed a lazy day around the house. Slept in, finished my book 419, watched Brave, Game of Thrones from Sunday night, and started reading Game of Thrones. After a late supper, Michael and I played catch up on one of our shows. It was a nice, relaxing, lazy day. Unfortunately I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but that was probably due to sleeping in Sunday and Monday.
Found out I am not working this Friday night now, which means I have this weekend and next weekend with only Sunday shifts! Pet Expo next weekend, out home at some point over the next two weeks, and camping sometime over the next two weeks.
Hope our bicycles get brought in town tomorrow. Exercise! Nice weather! Outside!
Thursday 16 May 2013
Some Positive Updates
This week has been pretty good. The combination of a good night at work Sunday, then having Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night off has helped.
I also got a call today for an interview on Thursday with another department at work. 1 Year contract, and seems like I'll have more "administrative" work to do compared to now, even though technical same title. So here's hoping it goes well. Is still not my ideal job, but it would be a better position, job security for another year, and a better location on campus.
Hubby and I are going to go to the Keg tonight. He has a $50 gc so we are going to go eat in the bar part and have a more casual/cheaper meal. Will be nice, especially as we haven't really done anything on my nights off this week. He is working until 8ish so I will go home and do some housework first and have that done by the time he is back.
Work tomorrow and Sunday night, First Aid Saturday and Sunday. I have Monday off from both jobs which will be nice to relax and get a sleep in. Even though the past 2 mornings I have woken up earlier than need - perhaps because I had went to bed earlier (not early by no means) than I do when I work in the evening.
Some of my positive outlook may also be coming from looking at my 2nd job as a potential gateway to more career growth than my current one. We'll see what happens. My options are pretty open.
Looking forward to this weekend, even though it will be busy. Bad weather forecast, but hopefully still got some bbqing and hangage with friends Saturday night.
<3
I also got a call today for an interview on Thursday with another department at work. 1 Year contract, and seems like I'll have more "administrative" work to do compared to now, even though technical same title. So here's hoping it goes well. Is still not my ideal job, but it would be a better position, job security for another year, and a better location on campus.
Hubby and I are going to go to the Keg tonight. He has a $50 gc so we are going to go eat in the bar part and have a more casual/cheaper meal. Will be nice, especially as we haven't really done anything on my nights off this week. He is working until 8ish so I will go home and do some housework first and have that done by the time he is back.
Work tomorrow and Sunday night, First Aid Saturday and Sunday. I have Monday off from both jobs which will be nice to relax and get a sleep in. Even though the past 2 mornings I have woken up earlier than need - perhaps because I had went to bed earlier (not early by no means) than I do when I work in the evening.
Some of my positive outlook may also be coming from looking at my 2nd job as a potential gateway to more career growth than my current one. We'll see what happens. My options are pretty open.
Looking forward to this weekend, even though it will be busy. Bad weather forecast, but hopefully still got some bbqing and hangage with friends Saturday night.
<3
Monday 13 May 2013
Weekend
Tired today, but not too bumbed out. Had a good night at work last night. I was really pleased with one of my crew people, and it just made my night.
Went home saturday for the night. Enjoyed my time out home. Got out Saturday for dinner at Nan's. MMMM had my cup of tea, shared 2 skices of damper toast, and had some macaroni & baco. Couldn't ask for more. When I think of the memories I have from my grandmother's, and the things she taught me, the more old-fashioned way of life, I hope my kids can have an experience like that with their grandparents.
Stayed at my parents' house Saturday night. Got up and hung out with mom and dad. i really did not want o go back to town. Ended up having a little cry and talk with mom and dad before I left. I just felt so utterly exhausted - with life in general.
I was crooked as sin when we got back to town and i had to go to work, but I perked up while I was there and had a good afternoon and night. =)
Working again tonight - hopefully it goes well. and then I'm off until Friday night, which is a nice break. Looking forward to Monday off from both jobs. Ah sleep and rest.
Went home saturday for the night. Enjoyed my time out home. Got out Saturday for dinner at Nan's. MMMM had my cup of tea, shared 2 skices of damper toast, and had some macaroni & baco. Couldn't ask for more. When I think of the memories I have from my grandmother's, and the things she taught me, the more old-fashioned way of life, I hope my kids can have an experience like that with their grandparents.
Stayed at my parents' house Saturday night. Got up and hung out with mom and dad. i really did not want o go back to town. Ended up having a little cry and talk with mom and dad before I left. I just felt so utterly exhausted - with life in general.
I was crooked as sin when we got back to town and i had to go to work, but I perked up while I was there and had a good afternoon and night. =)
Working again tonight - hopefully it goes well. and then I'm off until Friday night, which is a nice break. Looking forward to Monday off from both jobs. Ah sleep and rest.
Thursday 9 May 2013
not bad, but not good
Today is not bad day, but not a good day either. I think the impending weekend lifts my spirits a bit. Missed my therapist appointment this morning... completely forgot, and never saw the reminder on my phone either. Unfortunate because it probably would be beneficial.
May be going out home this weekend now on Saturday or late Friday after work. Hopefully my shifts tonight, Friday night, and Sunday go smoothly.
Walked over to the UC to get some rice to eat. Sat down overlooking Prince Philip Drive. it is a beautiful day out, but I still remain unlifted. Although a nap in the sun would be nice, but i'm working tonight.
Warm out, but i've been cold all day. Haven't taken my coat off yet. why am I always chilled?
....
Feeling really drained and tired now. weh.
May be going out home this weekend now on Saturday or late Friday after work. Hopefully my shifts tonight, Friday night, and Sunday go smoothly.
Walked over to the UC to get some rice to eat. Sat down overlooking Prince Philip Drive. it is a beautiful day out, but I still remain unlifted. Although a nap in the sun would be nice, but i'm working tonight.
Warm out, but i've been cold all day. Haven't taken my coat off yet. why am I always chilled?
....
Feeling really drained and tired now. weh.
Wednesday 8 May 2013
Update
In happier news - I went to the job fair. Only spoke to two companies, but they were both positive encounters, and seem hopeful, so spirits have been lifted a bit.
May book our holiday tonight. A little scared of booking it where my job situation is uncertain for the fall, but there are good flight options finally up again.
May book our holiday tonight. A little scared of booking it where my job situation is uncertain for the fall, but there are good flight options finally up again.
spiraling
I feel like I'm in a downwards spiral. Everyday is getting worse. I'm depressed and irate at the same time this morning. I'm going to go over to the MUN career fair, but I already feel defeated. I physically feel like crap, and I emotionally and mentally feel like crap. All I want to do today is go home. My mother and aunt are on their way in town. Hopefully I can have dinner with them.
Am I going to burn out?
Today is also the one year anniversary of my uncle's death who was very dear to my heart. I only aspire to be a fraction of the person he was. He treated me with nothing but kindness and love, as he did for everyone he met. Ladybugs will forever remind me of him as he would give glass ones to everyone he met for good luck. My first tattoo, which I am on a wait list for, will be in his memory.
The news report about the vacancies and cuts to Child Youth and Family Services also pissed me off today. There are already instances of children falling through the cracks, and probably more unknown - but yet they are cutting services. How many poor children are going to be further failed by the system? Sickening. Many have already went through enough hurt and pain, and are already set up for a life time of issues from it, why deepen that? Sick.
Am I going to burn out?
Today is also the one year anniversary of my uncle's death who was very dear to my heart. I only aspire to be a fraction of the person he was. He treated me with nothing but kindness and love, as he did for everyone he met. Ladybugs will forever remind me of him as he would give glass ones to everyone he met for good luck. My first tattoo, which I am on a wait list for, will be in his memory.
The news report about the vacancies and cuts to Child Youth and Family Services also pissed me off today. There are already instances of children falling through the cracks, and probably more unknown - but yet they are cutting services. How many poor children are going to be further failed by the system? Sickening. Many have already went through enough hurt and pain, and are already set up for a life time of issues from it, why deepen that? Sick.
Tuesday 7 May 2013
down again
My mood has went on the decline again today quite rapidly.
I
just enjoyed a lovely lunch all by myself, eating bland white rice. Not
even the sunshine is cheering me up. I just depressed.There is a job fair at MUN tomorrow... should be positive... but when I look at the companies coming, and the possible jobs, I don't even know what kind of job I would want . I just feel like i'm incapable of even doing a "real" business job, besides the fact that I don't really know what I want to do. There is ONE position posted now from one of the companies that interests me, so I'll try to talk to them tomorrow and see what happens.
Monday 6 May 2013
Rant
My day job frustrates me. I am frustrated to no end and feel like an incompetent piece of crap. Plus I'm dropping tired today which does not help. If I didn't need this job financially I wouldn't be doing it. And I'm already nervous about my contract being up in October and not having another job lined up. Makes us second guess booking our holiday for November.
Talking to a friend today who did the same degree as me, but is working in a much more progressive, responsible, and degree related job. She went away, and is doing a job in BC, fresh out of university, that in NL they would want 5-10 years experience, and/or a Masters Degree, and/or a professional accounting designation. And all I can get here in NL is office work - secretarial, that is not what I went to school for. The money is the only redeeming part. Maybe we would have been better off if we had went away. I know we wouldn't have our house, and would have been away from family, but at the same time we would have been so much further ahead career wise. It's depressing that this is the kind of decision you need to make in NL. Just stupid. Go away and do well career wise and financially, but you need to leave behind your friends and family, and forgo other plans, oh and don't forget - we "really want you to stay in NL".
Talking to a friend today who did the same degree as me, but is working in a much more progressive, responsible, and degree related job. She went away, and is doing a job in BC, fresh out of university, that in NL they would want 5-10 years experience, and/or a Masters Degree, and/or a professional accounting designation. And all I can get here in NL is office work - secretarial, that is not what I went to school for. The money is the only redeeming part. Maybe we would have been better off if we had went away. I know we wouldn't have our house, and would have been away from family, but at the same time we would have been so much further ahead career wise. It's depressing that this is the kind of decision you need to make in NL. Just stupid. Go away and do well career wise and financially, but you need to leave behind your friends and family, and forgo other plans, oh and don't forget - we "really want you to stay in NL".
Friday 3 May 2013
The Daily Blahs
Today is one of those days were you wake up in a bad mood and try to flow with the punches. I am becoming more and more aware that I am living a lifestyle that I dislike, to keep living a lifestyle I dislike, in the hope that it'll get better some day.
My dissatisfaction comes today from this... I work Monday to Friday every week, plus Sunday, plus nights during the week. I only get Saturday off, and sometime work until midnight on Friday. May 2-4 weekend, I'll be doing First Aid Saturday and Sunday, working Sunday night, and very possible to be working again on Monday, so I get no holiday. If I enjoyed both my jobs, this wouldn't be so bad, but with not enjoying my daytime one, my schedule is sucking the life out of me. I have no time to go out the bay to see my family - the place where I would truly rather be.
I haven't worked since Monday night, working again tonight, but I've still been tired and sleeping in every day. Ugh. And now when I have a night off, if I don't do much of anything I feel like it was wasted.
I haven't seen my friends since a couple weeks ago which saddens me. Will see them tomorrow thankfully.
My dissatisfaction comes today from this... I work Monday to Friday every week, plus Sunday, plus nights during the week. I only get Saturday off, and sometime work until midnight on Friday. May 2-4 weekend, I'll be doing First Aid Saturday and Sunday, working Sunday night, and very possible to be working again on Monday, so I get no holiday. If I enjoyed both my jobs, this wouldn't be so bad, but with not enjoying my daytime one, my schedule is sucking the life out of me. I have no time to go out the bay to see my family - the place where I would truly rather be.
I haven't worked since Monday night, working again tonight, but I've still been tired and sleeping in every day. Ugh. And now when I have a night off, if I don't do much of anything I feel like it was wasted.
I haven't seen my friends since a couple weeks ago which saddens me. Will see them tomorrow thankfully.
Wednesday 1 May 2013
Rattled
#1 Doctor appointment that I always end up leaving feeling worse and/or angry than when I arrived
#2 $200 parking permits when my co-workers get to park closer for $70
#2 $200 parking permits when my co-workers get to park closer for $70
"What makes you itch"
I watched this video today
It is so true. I recognize this, and long to be able to do something I like, without worrying about money, but I'm not sure what it is. What do I want to do?
I know I like helping people, and interacting with people. If money was no issue, and I didn't have to work, I would spend my time volunteering, helping others, and spending time with friends and family. I enjoy spending time with children, even though I sometimes feel awkward due to if other adults are going to think I am silly, etc. Like with my nephew - I'd love to sing him songs, and read him books, but I feel a little awkward sometimes in front of the rest of my family. I shouldn't. He makes me happy. I know I want children and to be a mom. I worry about how I will handle it some times with my OCD, but I can only imagine how fulfilling it will feel. My heart already melts at the sight of my nephew and other children, what would I be like with my own?
This is one of the reasons why I have considered going back to do primary elementary education, and teaching a young grade. It would make me so happy to know that I am helping children learn and grow, and make them feel special and loved, especially those that may come from situations where they do not get that at home. Knowing that they would look up to me, would make me smile.
This is still an option, but sadly MUN is not offering any of the prerequisites I need this summer, and I have three left in order to apply. Ideally I wanted to get these done by the end of 2013 so I could start the program May 2014 and be teaching Fall 2015. Maybe I'll be lucky, and be able to do all three this fall. That would be amazing.
ideas and options.
J
It is so true. I recognize this, and long to be able to do something I like, without worrying about money, but I'm not sure what it is. What do I want to do?
I know I like helping people, and interacting with people. If money was no issue, and I didn't have to work, I would spend my time volunteering, helping others, and spending time with friends and family. I enjoy spending time with children, even though I sometimes feel awkward due to if other adults are going to think I am silly, etc. Like with my nephew - I'd love to sing him songs, and read him books, but I feel a little awkward sometimes in front of the rest of my family. I shouldn't. He makes me happy. I know I want children and to be a mom. I worry about how I will handle it some times with my OCD, but I can only imagine how fulfilling it will feel. My heart already melts at the sight of my nephew and other children, what would I be like with my own?
This is one of the reasons why I have considered going back to do primary elementary education, and teaching a young grade. It would make me so happy to know that I am helping children learn and grow, and make them feel special and loved, especially those that may come from situations where they do not get that at home. Knowing that they would look up to me, would make me smile.
This is still an option, but sadly MUN is not offering any of the prerequisites I need this summer, and I have three left in order to apply. Ideally I wanted to get these done by the end of 2013 so I could start the program May 2014 and be teaching Fall 2015. Maybe I'll be lucky, and be able to do all three this fall. That would be amazing.
ideas and options.
J
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